Blazing Saddles Natural Lotion: The sexiest lotion in the West
Even hardened outlaws need soft skin!
What does an Outlaw smell like? In short, an Outlaw smells like a f&*king American hero.
In long, an Outlaw smells like leather, sandalwood, gunpowder, sage, two kinds of campfire (the nighttime campfire and the daybreak campfire), and a little dirt. An Outlaw smells like the sexiest goddamn thing you can imagine, and then about 12 times sexier than that.
An Outlaw is too old for ‘Axe’ and too young for ‘Old Spice.’ Too old for rot-gut whiskey and too young to give up whiskey outright.
This lotion could be used by the kind of cowboys that other cowboys sing about. This lotion is the kind of lotion that makes married men late for work. This lotion will turn your post-shower routine into a slow-mo celebration of every. damn. reason you woke up this morning: because you have Things to Do.
But you don’t have to do them too fast. Finish your sexy, sexy enlotioning first. And that’s why it’s called “the sexiest lotion ever.”
Ingredients: Water, sweet almond oil, shea butter, emulsifying wax, avocado oil, steric acid, phenonip, and fragrance