"Do you have, like, a beard oil or some sort of beard balm?"

"Do you have, like, a beard oil or some sort of beard balm?"

This is a frequent question we get asked by many a bearded friend (and their friends, since friends of people with beards must always be on the alert for fine beard products to thoughtfully present to their friend).
 
The answer is no. We do not have "like, a beard oil" or "some sort of beard balm." We only have the FINEST BEARD AND HAIR ELIXIR ever to have been concocted for the luckiest faces in the West. We spent years perfecting the formula that is now for sale on our site (and on Amazon, though I recommend ordering from our site if only for the mini rubber chicken we include in each order).
 
The current (and final) formula of our Magic Beard & Hair Elixir is made with prime, quick-absorbing ingredients (jojoba oil, hempseed oil, olive oil, essential and Phthalate-free fragrance oil) that smooth and soothe even the most unruly facehairs, while also being aromatically revelrous in notes of cedar and campfire.
 
It will also surprise you to know that our Magic Beard & Hair Elixir contains absolutely, 100% purely ZERO snake oil, red flannel, or chalk. "With a scent this lumberful and woodsy? No red flannel?" My friend, I know it's hard to believe, but we have been able to craft this joyful facial experience without the aid of any live or dead actual lumberjacks. No red flannel was required! (believe me, we tested)
 
You can get your massive 3 oz bottle right here, satisfaction guaranteed, for just $24 (though a value at any price): Magic Beard & Hair Elixir
 
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