A post dictated, but not edited: verdict? Totally unreadable.

2

Posted on August 14 2014


Updated very important note: after reading this again, I think I probably have a lot more to explain about the post, but it's so long and boring that I don't even really know where to start.

First, I sent the orders. Russ was working. I was packing orders. "He" was iPhone being sexist. Second, aside from the total mis-attributation, this whole post is lame and you shouldn't read it. The important parts are:

  1. I drove to LA for oil
  2. I made it back home
Really, that's all there is to it. The rest of it is stuff that no one could possibly care about, even my mom (who, for the record, totally cares about me and important stuff, but seriously, this is not it). The moral of the story is this: sometimes you gotta do stuff that doesn't seem awesome, and doesn't turn out to be all that awesome. But it's one of those things that you'll remember in five years as, "oh man, I totally drove to LA to save $400. that is so crazy, man" (I hope I'll never get stoned enough to say "man" twice, but you get the point). That's part of being an entrepreneur, and sometimes it kind of sucks. But it's awesome. But it sucks.

Very important note: I promised myself that I would write a blog post in the car by dictation. This is totally awful. The ideas that I described in it are, at best, vaguely represented in this post. Overall, it's so boring that I can't even recommend reading it. I am only posting it here as a reminder that:

  1. You must always do what you promise yourself to do
  2. You should talk less. Really, this is crap. If this is how you talk, do it less.
So... enjoy this moment of public humiliation. Or don't. Like I said, don't read it. And you can't blame me if you read it anyways and are disappointed.

Hello dear reader, since I promised myself that I wasn't going to let this week go by without writing a blog post, here we are doing a blog post. New return thing

But since I'm in the car driving, I can't really write the blog post all I can do is dictated into my phone and then trust my phone to work out the details of what I said later.

So if there awkwardly worded phrases or weird punctuation or really anything wrong with this post at all it's entirely my phone's fault.

This post is going to be about how I ended up spending the last 24 hours driving half the time of the 24 hours of 12 that's 12 hours of driving.

And, since we can't really make soap without coconut oil, all of our productions head halted until we got the soil him. Which is really bad, because we really need more soap, because running out.

So after he shipped a whole bunch of orders yesterday, I decided to hit the road with the little dog Roxy. And we ended up driving all the way down to Buellton by the 101, stopping at San Juan Batista, just for a little walkabouts. We have been looking at places in that area because it looks like a really nice area.

And sure enough, San Juan Batista is super awesome. It's basically antique stores bars and Mexican restaurants. Basically, it's the perfect town

So I made it all the way to Buellton. And then we decided OS shoot I need to go back and since I'm dictating this is going to be difficult.

Okay so, before we went to Buellton we decided to go over to arroyos Saco Arroyo… Something

I have looked at the map and it looks like a really nice place to camp. All of the fight flipped really gray, and would like to live in a wonderful location, it was Rivers nearby so I thought I would be cool. Well, after I drove out there for about an hour from the 101 I got there and it is so fricking hot I could not believe it was over 100° at least

After trying to figure out where the heck I was, I realize that probably the best that we just need to get back on the 101 and drive on through the Buellton. Hilton* is an old standby of mine because well it's really kind of close to LA but it's also going to close San Francisco.

And I've stayed in the Motel 6 there are a bunch of times. It's not a bad place, as long as your standards on unreasonable from Motel 6. I actually was surprised to find this time that there was no hot water.  Which turned out to be okay, because I was really only there for a few hours and ended up just using the cold water to wash my face. Which is probably for the best anyway.

Well, I woke up at 4:30 in the morning and headed out towards Riverside. Riverside is pretty far away from Buellton as it turns out and you have to go through Los Angeles to get there. And so leaving Buellton at 4:30 in the morning seem like the only possible way that I would not get stuck in the most heinous of Los Angeles traffic which is Thursday morning commute time traffic both going into and coming out of Los Angeles it really was basically the worst possible time to be driving through Los Angeles. If I left at 4:30 pretty much exactly, I would end up going through Los Angeles getting Los Angeles at around 730 in the morning which is kind of pre-commute and then I would get out to Riverside theoretically around 815 in the morning which would be absolutely perfect because then I would've missed most of the traffic. I could wait around for the oil for about a half an hour or so until 9 o'clock and then the worst of LA traffic would be over, for me to head back to Los Angeles.

Except for the part about waking up in the mall at 4:30 in the morning, had sounded like the perfect plan!

I really like driving. Which is really lucky, because I do I don't awful lot of it.

Also, when I'm driving, are you saying listening to some sort of audiobook. It's really great, because I can actually learn things, learn how to do things, find out more about my favorite celebrities or even people I didn't realize were celebrities who actually wrote books which is their new thing, like you know different people. Like Jenny Lawson. I just listened to her book I'm at audible which was the let's pretend this never happened I mostly true memoir. It was very enjoyable!

I also listen to Mindy something or other from the office who roads is everybody hanging out without me another something something. I was also highly enjoyable! I really like these comedy writers who are writing things that are books and that's the thing that they're writing and then recording them because they're really great and wonderful actress.

Side note: my favorite of this genre is absolutely BJ Novak's one more thing. It is by far the most enjoyable book I have listened to possibly in my entire life.

And now I'm on to my second reading of Napoleon Hill's think and grow rich! It is just an all-around self-improvement festival here in the outlast soaps car.

So I actually did make it through Los Angeles at exactly the right time I traffic was not too bad at all! And then when I picked up my will order they didn't really have it ready and they were all in some sort of employee training translation not my problem, and they didn't get the window ready for me until almost 9 o'clock. It actually worked out a way for the best because traffic was just beginning to die down I left Riverside at around 9 o'clock and I got back on the road

I just made it over the grapevine! And that's kind of where the story is right now. I have 350 pounds of coconut oil oh right, I forgot to tell you about that part. Since freight is no longer an issue, I could just carry around as much oil as I wanted to! Which means that we upped her order from four barrels of oil to 10 because I might as well just have all the rest that in the back of my element and drive it on up as long as I'm driving up for barrels exclamation

I guess this is in a very exciting blog post. But, hopefully, at least you found some of the audio translation somewhat amusing.

I guess the moral of the story, if there was one, is that entrepreneurs sometimes do really ridiculous things to save a couple hundred dollars. And that's probably what we need to do. Even if it's kind of ridiculous and totally sucky and also so ridiculous and sucky that it's kind of fun, that's just what needs to happen in business sometimes. So if you're not winter, and sometime you're sitting up at 4:30 in the morning working on your website and thinking this is ridiculous I hope you can take a minute to laugh at yourself because actually really funny and the fact that you're doing it is really awesome and sake and ridiculous but actually it's really funny.

Last week, I was out of town just driving around Northern California checking out Mendocino and hanging out with my friend. And rest called me in a panic because we had run out of coconut oil!

Usually this as it happened because I'm on top of ordering things, but this time it did happen. And I don't know if you know this but oil is really expensive. I as specially because it costs about the same amount to ship it as the cost of the oil itself so it's just really expensive to have freight on top of the cost of the oil. To have it delivered in a couple days or a few days he's going to be over $1000 in freight costs and that seems really dumb. And I'm really cheap. And also, I really like road trips.

* OMG IPHONE: Buellton, not HILTON. Holy shit, man. Hilton? No. Hilton is not any kind of regular place of mine. I'm not making any other edits, but this one is just too much.

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